Distractions

As I sit here brooding (yet again), it strikes me that by being so busy recently, either I am unconsciously trying to distract myself from decisions, or consciously trying to see the limit of my stamina. The combination of Work, Summer School, Photo Projects, Running Meetings and Working on the Set of a Movie (not to mention keeping up with my social life, though that’s starting to suffer) is starting to wear me down. I need a break it seems. But the break I so desperately need won’t come for a while yet, and papers and presentations plague my every waking moment.

It’s a good thing too, as the decision I am waiting on still (see previous post) makes me nervous even if I glimpse it out of the corner of my eye. Distraction is a wonderful thing when a situation like this arises. To keep one’s mind and body busy is to keep from brooding too long on decisions that one has no control over. Even job interviews, meetings with editors and uncertain bureaucratic meetings don’t compare to the shaky ground I find myself currently (It’s personal, so I’m not sharing).
Currently, as I write this, the sucking-black-hole-where-your-stomach-should-be feeling won’t leave. And trying to distract myself with Stargate and Kings on Hulu still doesn’t help. A small dose of whiskey takes the edge off, as does listening to Israel Kamakawiwo’ole’s cover of “Somewhere of the Rainbow.” (one of the best ever, in my humble opinion, or not so humble, depending on who you talk to).

I’m sorry I’m so moody recently. I really don’t know why I’m like this. Well, I suppose I do, but still, that’s no reason for me to share. I guess you’ll just have to trust me.

All for now.

Pat Out.